People seemed to like my last “about me” piece, so I figured I would do another. I’m terrible at humanizing myself in real life, but I’m a little better here.
So here we go:
- Your “Hall of Fame” of Bars- College Hill Tavern in Easton, Russia House in DC, Jameson’s in Waterloo, OBT in Bethlehem, 1818 in Palmer Township, Crest Tavern in Wildwood Crest.
- How do you feel about being a Millennial?- Terrible. I’m not a millennial in any way but for when I was born.
- What do you order at diners?- Salad bar. It’s my go to. I eat two to three salads and two cups of soup. It’s immaculate.
- Where do you see yourself in five years?- Washington, DC or New York City. Maybe a beach, but that’s probably later.
- Why do you hate suits?- First off, I’m not trying to impress you. Give me jeans, a t-shirt, and a baseball hat. If you’re not impressed by our interactions, I’d rather be forgettable to you. Me wearing a suit requires a high bar. When I met President Bill Clinton last back in 2013, I told him he’s the only person I’d wear a suit for. I try to stick to that rule, but I’d probably violate it for President Obama or Britney Spears now.
- Favorite Beatle- John Lennon. I appreciate that Kanye made Paul McCartney famous a couple of years ago, but John Lennon best embodies my personal values and beliefs.
- Why don’t you like Uncle Bernie?- My beef with Senator Bernard Sanders (I-VT) isn’t so much over beliefs, policies, or values. I didn’t appreciate his lukewarm embrace of Hillary Clinton after the 2016 Primaries, when we were facing a fascist in the general election. I don’t appreciate his career of being a critic of the Democratic Party from the outside. I tactically don’t agree with him on abandoning the Democratic base (to be read “identity politics”). I don’t believe any “political revolution” is coming to a starkly divided America. I view his quarter century in Congress as largely (not to be read as “entirely”) lacking in achievements. I think his proposals, while correct in values, are mostly not thought all the way through or realistic. I think he created a cult of personality in 2016, and has moved the American left into unsustainable territory.
- It’s 2018 and Cole Hamels is a Cub. What world is this?- Javy Baez wasn’t good enough. Good riddance, hail Nick Williams and Jorge Alfaro.
- Why do you hate guns?- I don’t, I’m just not an ammosexual. Despite being a white guy in Pennsylvania, I’ve never been hunting. It’s cool if you do though. I just think domestic abusers, felons, and the mentally ill shouldn’t have guns. I think you should have to report your lost or stolen hand gun. I think hollow tip bullets shouldn’t be available. I think all guns should have serial numbers and be sold in a traceable way. I think you should be licensed and trained in keeping a gun safely. None of this stuff is extreme, and most gun owners would agree with most of it.
- Lobster or Steak?- This is like picking between children. My answer is both. If you make me pick one, I’ll take the other off your plate.
- Counting Crows or Live?- Another impossible answer. The two 90’s bands are doing a 25th anniversary tour right now. I love both, but I’ll pick Live only because they’re from York, PA.
- The best rapper on Death Row Records was…?- Everybody and their mother says Tupac. The dude is an all-time legend. I get it. I feel like Snoop Dogg doesn’t get enough love though. He came up earlier in their rise, he’s like rap’s Beatles or Stones at this point. His career has lasted forever. He scared the $#*% our of suburbia. I’ll go Snoop.
- Favorite New York Met?- Tom Glavine. I remember him more as a Braves legend, but he was a Met, too. He signed a ball for me at Veteran’s Stadium as a kid. He also imploded to help the Phillies win the division on the final day of 2007. He seemed like a genuinely good guy though, I like him.
- Describe you at 15- Fast, tie-dye wearing, thin, bleach-blond, bad, unaware, sheltered, arrogant.
- Al Gore or Joe Biden?- Everybody likes Joe more, right? He’s more personable. I think Gore is more politically in tune with me though. I loved him in my college years for his opposition to the Iraq War and putting climate change on the national map. He probably wasn’t my cup of tea of opposing explicit rap lyrics, or many other cultural issues in his Senate years, but what he became later was more me.
- Why do you hate Socialism?- Cuba, North Korea, Venezuela, China, the USSR… should I go on? Socialism takes on different forms in different countries, but it either always fails or morphs into capitalism or oligarchy. I recognize the need for socialist ideas and programs, like Medicare or Social Security. We live in a mixed capitalist nation, and removing all the socialism would be really bad. I fundamentally reject the idea of seizing the means of production and going full Karl Marx though too. The accumulation of capital and wealth is not our enemy though, and it’s only bad if our government fails to regulate and enforce rules (which it does fail to do, often).
- Most amazing thing you heard this week?- My grandmother’s electric bill for last month was $14.40.
- Favorite ice cream flavor- Vanilla. I’m boring.
- Tacos?- Beef. Give me like ten. I’ll eat them all day.
- Something You Like?- Musikfest in Bethlehem, PA. It starts tonight. It’s the best ten days in the Valley all year. I walk around with a mug full of beer and listen to free music. And eat.
- What are you doing this weekend?- Musikfest and Lebanese Heritage Days in Easton. I’m going to eat like a G-d damn king.
- Celebrity fight you want to see?- Donald Trump Jr. vs. Lavar Ball. Hell-in-a-cell, please.
- Coolest thing you heard this week?- Dave Grohl hangs out in Rehoboth Beach during the Summer. Can we make Dave our national king?
- Favorite late night comic?- Recently I’m watching Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert. I liked Letterman the best though.
- You would rather: a Phillies World Series or another Eagles Super Bowl?- I’m a Phillies-first guy. I want both though.
- Thing that bothered you this week?- Hey, NFL fans- support the players, not the owners, in contract disputes. The players put their body on the line for your entertainment. The owners and not the players are guaranteed their money each season. The owners are the rich billionaires. Stop complaining about what the players make. It’s a tiny percentage of what wealth they produce for everyone involved in the game. Get your priorities right.