My Summer of Discontent with Philly Sports

As the two run homer left Citizens Bank Park in the 10th inning of a sweltering Memorial Day baseball game, I uttered the obvious- “the Phillies are going to lose this game 5-4.” Now the Giants actual lead at that moment was only 5-3, but I knew that the Phillies would score their “ghost runner” from second in the bottom of the tenth, and nothing more. If there is a rule with the 2022 Phillies, it is that they will lose in the most excruciating way they can find. Inside I asked myself why I put myself through this. I knew exactly how it would end.

Today, 97.5 the Phanatic’s prime time afternoon host Mike Missanelli announced he was leaving the station. This is sad because he’s the only host in the city that can consistently talk about a team besides the Eagles. Look, I love the Birds, but hearing how every season “is going to be the year,” only to watch them again limp into the playoffs and get beat on gets old. Call me when they have their franchise QB (which I see zero signs that they do now). I suppose this is better than watching future Hall-of-Famers and real MVP’s Joel Embiid and Bryce Harper waste history making seasons in cultures of mediocrity repeatedly. And you know, all three are better situations than the decade plus of absolutely pathetic slop of trash hockey the Flyers have given us. Honestly, ratings and attendance at the games suggest their fan base is down to the true die-hards of what was once the most consistent fan base in hockey. And the Union, you ask? They are a very nice team, but it will take a championship to make Philadelphia buy fully into MLS Soccer, at least, and all we’ve seen so far is they can get heartbreakingly close and come up short too. See though, this is what I loved about Missanelli’s show- he satisfied my craving for a full beating as a Philadelphia fan for all of my teams constantly disappointing me. Everybody else just wants to shovel me garbage faith about the Eagles.

It’s really hard to be a Philadelphia sports fan right now. After a cowardly performance against the most-hated New York Mets over the weekend, the Phillies basically look to be eliminated by Memorial Day week. I have no faith in the Eagles and my confidence in the Sixers is shot. The other two teams are who again? Now they’re taking the entertainment away from us too. And you see, to be a Philadelphia fan, you can’t really not care. You might watch less or gripe and complain, but the passion required for it requires that you are still checking the score on your phone, still cheering against the teams you hate, and still mad that things suck like they do. Worse yet, you know when you end your short protest of how bad things are, things will generally be the same. Poor coaching, busted draft picks, and some guy named Big Tony calling into the radio predicting the Eagles are going 15-2. And you’ll tolerate every bit of it, again and again, because you must. That’s what being a Philly fan is.

Hey though, at least Monday’s game got me a bit of a tan.

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