The DCCC rumor mill is loud these days. As they try to prop up candidates they like and penalize candidates they don’t, they tell folks things in hope that they put it out there. I’m more than happy to oblige. In PA-7, they want you to back Bob “Crooksy” Brooks, a deadbeat who stiffed his mother-in-law, and will be torn to shreds over it by Ryan Mackenzie and the GOP. The guy is DOA in the general election, and probably wouldn’t be good if he did win, but he makes money for their chosen consultants, who happen to also be Senator Fetterman’s team, and he’s the head of a union. Sure, he’s a bad candidate, but he furthers some folks careers. So they want you to know that “Crooksy” is going to blow away the other four Democrats in fundraising, as this guy did last reporting period. They are telling people that Bob “Crooksy” Brooks will raise $400k in the third quarter.

Crooksy’s number, if he actually reaches it (a month ago they were saying $200k, so read into it what you will), is pretty decent. It’s not shocking though, nor is it a number that makes him a prohibitive favorite. “Crooksy” Brooks hired folks who helped build Bernie Sanders and John Fetterman’s mythological campaigns, and also raised a bunch of money when people believed they were working class heroes. In Fetterman’s case he raised a bunch of money online and basically drowned his primary opponents, before going on to basically vote with the Republican Party in the United States Senate. Crooksy is just their new grift to get paid. With three full quarters of fundraising, and reasonable depreciation built into it after his launch, Crooksy would be on pace to reasonably raise about $1 million for this race. The problem for Crooksy is he starts way behind, and people don’t really like him more once they’re told about him. He’ll need to spend most of his million introducing himself and making people like him, and that’s assuming no one comes in and tells the voters he’s a gun nut racist, who stiffs his mother-in-law, to the cost of a few hundred thousand dollars. He’ll need a lot more.

Then there’s Union-Busting Ryan Crosswell, who was at one point the darling of the Washington types, but then the DCCC got some flack for running a Republican and backed away. The truth is that they’d still be fine with Crosswell as their nominee, but they know they can’t say that out loud, and now they got some static from the district, so they have to pretend they don’t like him. The truth? He’s probably actually better than Crooksy, provided that you don’t care at all what your Congressman actually believes, or if they actually have any grassroots support in the district they aren’t even from, or really if you just don’t care about anything. Since they know Crosswell is a bad look, they have to at least go through the motions of shitting on him. They are putting out there that he will not hit his $300k goal for the third quarter, as donors back away from him as they learn more. If Crooksy wasn’t better for business for the Beltway types, I’d predict him getting this same treatment next quarter.

Then there’s poor Carol Obando-Derstine, an actual Democrat from the Lehigh Valley who doesn’t hate Colin Kaepernick. Sure, Carol’s pretty corporate in her career choices, but she at least has business running in this race. So of course, the Beltway crowd wanted her to drop out, thereby pushing any women candidates out of the race. Then, when she got endorsements from some Latino Groups and Emily’s List, Bernie’s DSA goons made sure to deny her the SEIU endorsement that the local members wanted to give her. Crooksy needed that endorsement, stealing from his mother-in-law wasn’t going to finance this campaign on it’s own! Honestly, this kind of treatment of a former Democratic staffer is a really bad look, but she’s in the way of the fat cats getting paid. The Beltway elites want you to know that her entire campaign staff is fleeing her in droves, and she’s refusing to raise money. They’re predicting she’ll raise “under $100k.” She might. They want you to know that though so you back their chosen candidate though.

Then there’s Lamont McClure, Northampton County’s two-term Executive, who isn’t raising cash fast enough for their liking. To hear these Beltway warlords tell it, McClure might not report any money at all this quarter. Dude can’t even rub together two nickels for heat. What’s the guy even doing in the race? We know he gave himself $200k this quarter, so I assume he’ll raise that much at least. They assume though that the one candidate to win a major local office in this race is dead at this point. In fact, that’s their excuse for why the Governor didn’t tell him to drop out. To date, my math says he’s raised at least $430k for this race, which is less than Crosswell for sure, and maybe Crooksy, but probably enough for him to stay in. Basically though, the Beltway Chieftains want you to know that while local voters, elected officials, and unions always like him, he’s dead.

Then there’s Mark Pinsley. The rumor here is he’s still on Planet Earth. Poor Dude won a couple of elections and these folks act like he doesn’t even exist. They didn’t even take time to shit on him in their rumors. Hell, they didn’t even let lunatic Bernie endorse him, and he’s trying to run like him. I guess they hope he just goes off and runs for State Senate, again.

Part of the reason the Democratic Party loses is voters see right through our astroturf narratives. Republicans put up authentic lunatics, we put up Crooksy. It seems that in the case of PA-7, the Beltway Elites are desperate to find literally anyone to be their candidate besides a Democrat from the Lehigh Valley. I’m sure voters will love that.