Hm, what’s going on in the world? Apparently a lot. I just wish it was a lot less.

Let’s start with some fun stuff. As Kristi Norm departs as Secretary of Homeland Security, we are finding out that apparently her husband is a crossdresser and maybe gay. Look, I think he should be whatever he wants to be, but his wife’s political stances on the subject are hypocritical and fair game. And perhaps we know why she was supposedly sleeping around. Meanwhile fringe nutjob candidate for Florida Governor, James Fishback, is claiming that looney-tune wacko Laura Loomer is a man. This is some crazy shit, but if you search “Larry Loomer” on X/Twitter, you’ll find that there is an audience that believes this stuff with their whole hearts and minds. Loomer says he’s an Islamist. This shit is incredible. Meanwhile in Nebraska, a Republican Pastor is running for U.S. Senate as a Democrat for whatever reason. I guess he had a genuine change of heart. Fresh off of being hacked himself and having all of his info put on the internet by Iranians, Kash Patel is ordering the release of files pertaining to Congressman Eric Swalwell’s supposed affairs with a Chinese spy years and years ago. Swalwell is currently running for California Governor. ICE Agents will be posted outside Marine Corps Boot Camp graduations to check if family members are documented. Lots of people are talking about streamer Hasan Piker, I’ll just remind you that he allegedly abuses his dog. Big emphasis on allegedly. He also yells at some Asian lady and doesn’t care about Black people. Great guy. In much more sane news, the bullet that killed Charlie Kirk can’t be matched to the alleged weapon that killed him. Yep, totally normal shit. Olivia Nuzzi’s ex, former Congressman and Governor Mark Sanford (of “hiking the Appalachians” fame.) is back, running for Congress. Student Loan forgiveness is basically dead. I guess Elizabeth Warren was wrong about doing it by Executive Order. Who could have known? PBS and NPR got temporary life from a federal judge. Good news.

Remember the “Bowling Alone” book? Well, it turns out that “Big Bowling” is literally trying to finish the story. Bowlero, the largest operator of bowling alleys in America, is basically buying bowling alleys and eliminating their local leagues to make room for higher income players. Sounds a lot like housing. Anthony Edwards didn’t start last night because he had to take a shit. No lie. Jason Kelce is working the Masters. Hell yeah. It’s Final Four weekend and Duke isn’t in it. That’s good. Arizona seems to be the favorite, but never count Hurley’s UCONN out. The UCONN women lead the women’s field, and they meet South Carolina in the annual war on the court, while UCLA and Texas meet in the other game. Baseball began with an opening night on Netflix. I actually liked it. I like NBC’s Sunday night set up too. Check back in a couple weeks for strong opinions of anything we’re seeing right now. If you look right now, Bryce Harper and Shohei Ohtani suck. Enjoy that if you’d like. Some guy named Wiemers started 10-for-10 for the Nationals. Move over, Mickey Mantle. 

I didn’t mention Iran this week. It’s not going great for anyone. We’re bombing the shit out of them, they’re closing the Straight of Hormuz, so gas is way up, and they’re fighting back with drones. I mean, I wonder how long it is before Trump either loses interest or does something insane?

And finally, it is Easter Week. Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, enjoy the time.