life

Six Months Later

/ Rich Wilkins / Leave a comment

Six months ago right now I was laying in the ICU, having just lost half my foot and fighting an infection in my blood that was an immediate threat to my continued existence. That I was closer to death that day than I have ever been at any other moment in my life can almost get lost in the shuffle now. Today I got up, had some coffee while my cousin and his fiancée visited, then went to the chiropractor, visited my grandparents grave, drove around a bit, and took myself out for lunch. I can walk on my new leg, even hands free. I can drive and come and go as I please. My life is not, and will never again be totally “normal,” but it is trending back that way. I’ll soon return to the gym. I’m making travel plans. You could be forgiven at this point if you forget how close to the other side I was six months ago, it would be fair to say that life has begun to move on. For all things a season, and maybe very soon a new one for me.

Try as I might though, I’m changed by it. Maybe it was the weeks in the hospital bed, alone with my thoughts. The dark thoughts of how close I was to a funeral, and the pondering of who would of been there. There was also the beauty of watching the sun rise over the crosses on tops of buildings in Allentown’s East Side. There was the hours of putting on my headphones and listening to my favorite songs, and how some of them have taken on a different meaning to me now. All I had time to do was think. What and who I found important after hasn’t been the same since.

I’m recovering, and you should view me that way. I’m not quite the same though. I still don’t go out and go to places the way I used to, and only part of that is from physical challenges. I’m just changed by it. In no small way, I find my former self disinteresting. I find important parts of my life feeling trivial. I’m largely unconcerned now, but not in a bad way. I guess something like this just changes how you view people in your life. It definitely has for me, for better or for worse. You don’t just go back to how things were, even as you heal. To do so would almost feel like a betrayal of what was done for you. It would be to sell short the perspective you have been gifted with now.

I’m lucky. Modern science and medicine is amazing, and I’m grateful for it. The doctors, nurses, and techs who took care of me are true miracle workers. One of these days I’ll see the pathway and realize why they did it.

35.

/ Rich Wilkins / Leave a comment

I was sitting in the Hotel Bethlehem having dinner with a friend on the final night I would be 34 as I looked out the window and saw the bus roll up to the door, with “MORAVIAN” scrolled across it. Out rolled repeated 22 year olds, dressed in their suits and dresses, smiles beaming across their faces. This was their night, May 10th, 2018, the gala celebration for members of the Class of 2018. These young Hounds had their lives in front of them. Twelve years ago, that was me.

Time is both our most precious resource and the most unforgiving critic. Time, inevitably will pass us by. For all of us, time is finite, and we don’t know how much of it we will have, only that we have now, the time between this moment and that morning when we are summoned home.

I turned 35 years old Friday, a semi-milestone in my life, one made easier by the fact that some bartenders and waitresses still ask me to see my ID. I feel my age some days, but others I still feel 25. I’m pretty proud of my life to this point. Professionally, I’ve worked for Presidents, Governors, Senators, Congress members, state legislators, judges, and local leaders, all over America, for diverse people, managing staffs and campaigns that were big and small. I’ve got a good relationship to my family, and I have stayed close with my friends from childhood to now. I serve on my college alumni board, my township board of auditors, and the Pennsylvania Democratic State Committee. I’ve got a very sizable social media following. I go to lots of baseball games. I spent my birthday weekend at a wedding for one of my best friends. I came home and my dogs were happy to see me.

There are things that I’m either unhappy with or anxious about though. I’d like to be wealthier, maybe have a family life of my own, get more degrees, eat better, buy a home, get back into my athletic shape, and travel more. The good news though is that I’m not consumed by any of those things. They would all be added benefits. If they don’t happen, I’ll deal with it.

I’m pretty happy at 35, and pretty content with who I am. I’m a product of my community, family, friends, work experiences, and education, and I’m quite happy with that. Thank you for knowing me, and reading me.