March Madness

Your World, Last Week- 3/24

/ Rich Wilkins / Leave a comment

If you’re still stumbling, you drank too much. Happy week after St. Patrick’s Day. They told me not to, but I did. I took Florida in some brackets, Arizona in others. Figures that the one who is the defending champions were the ones who burned me. March Madness gave us the expected, such as Duke, Arizona, Michigan, Michigan State, and UCONN, and little to no fun. For the second straight year, and second time in the modern era, all the teams in the Sweet 16 come out of The Big Ten, SEC, ACC, Big 12, and Big East. In the era of the portal and NIL, good players leave mid-majors after two years to go play on power programs. Hey, at least we have St. John’s. At least it’s not the women’s tournament either, which is basically just UCONN, UCLA, and South Carolina dogging teams until they get to each other. Texas and their enormous athletics budget arrived as a #1 in the women’s tournament too, and has lived up to it, while their men won three games last week. Local teams Lehigh, Villanova, and Penn all got run out of the men’s side as well. Villanova and Princeton’s women were both sent packing too. Unrelated, but I lost every parlay I tried.

Penn State won the NCAA Wrestling title in the least shocking result ever. Meanwhile, Venezuela beat the United States in the World Baseball Classic final. I guess we take their President, they take our trophy. Cuba probably won’t get to keep either for themselves. Despite some socialist white kids from the U.S. visiting, the country is imploding under it’s own weight. Yes, I know we’re blockading them, which we basically have for 70 years, to varying degrees. Anyway, back to sports, Opening Day for MLB is on Thursday. I’m obviously quite excited, but you’ll get my predictions later this week. I’ll be at a AAA game on Saturday to see Zack Wheeler rehab and the Phillies and Nats on Monday. I’m more excited for betting my pitcher strikeout parlays again. I win on those most days.

In case you were wondering, we’re still fighting the war we won a couple of weeks ago in Iran. The Straight of Hormuz still isn’t open and the national average of gasoline is $3.97 a gallon, because Joe Biden. Israel is still fighting Hezbollah in Lebanon, as well as kind of fighting Hamas in Gaza, and fighting Iran in Iran, which only makes sense when you realize the same people are funding Hezbollah, Hamas, and Iran. Here at home the Homeland Security Department government shutdown continues, and TSA is a mess. I mean, Al Jazeera calls it a crisis. Workers haven’t been paid in weeks, and some just don’t even show up for work now. Can’t say I blame them. President Trump wants to really fix this crisis, so he’s sending in his “A Team,” putting ICE at airports across America. In other mildly political news, Robert Mueller, the former FBI Director who investigated Russian interference in our 2016 Election and determined it happened and that the President couldn’t be prosecuted for it, died. Yes, Donald Trump celebrated it. He did not celebrate Chuck Norris dying though, though I doubt he knows he was a conservative Republican. It’s a real party in the USA these days.

The Bachelorette was canceled for this season. Apparently Taylor Frankie Paul, the star for this upcoming season, beat the living shit out of her ex/baby daddy, and the video leaked. Look, shit no one is proud of happens sometimes, but hear me out. A few dozen (?) “men” were going to go on a show and share a girlfriend for a few weeks, begging for love from a woman who will kick their ass when she’s pissed. The cucked American male is simply wildly out of control. Like, don’t you have any respect for yourselves? Don’t answer that. Apparently some guy who was on the show named Brad Ledford was actually the driver of the car that crashed into former North Carolina Congresscritter Madison Cawthorn and put him in a wheelchair. Seriously, first you picked the violent mom from “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” as the prize of the show, then you put these clowns on the show? This show wouldn’t be crazier if it were cast in a halfway house.

Have a nice week everyone. Enjoy!

Your World Last Week, 3/16

/ Rich Wilkins / Leave a comment

You know how sometimes a lot of stuff happens in a week, but really nothing stands out so you really don’t remember anything? Good times. It’s almost Spring. It’s St. Patrick’s Day tomorrow. No matter how bad life is, it’s good right now. Or it could at least be worse. It could still be early February and there could be snow on the ground. Lots of snow, frozen solid because it’s too cold to melt.

So March Madness is here. Locally, Lehigh University is in the big dance, as are two Philly schools, Villanova and Penn, while St. Joe’s is in the NIT. It seems like most of New York City is in, with St. John’s, LIU, and Hofstra in. I haven’t filled out my brackets yet (that’s tomorrow morning), but I think I’m split between Florida and Arizona at the moment, but also considering Duke. Here in Easton, PA, we celebrate March Matness religiously, with this week’s NCAA Division I Wrestling Championships almost being a religious holiday. I’m taking Penn State to win by a million. In the World Baseball Classic this week the United States and Venezuela have advanced to play a championship game tomorrow night filled with geopolitical irony this year. Phillies Cristopher Sanchez, Aaron Nola, and prospect Dante Nori have all stood out for their teams in this tournament, while Phillies Americans Brad Keller, Kyle Schwarber, and Bryce Harper will play in tomorrow’s final. I’m enjoying it. This past weekend was the New Jersey State High School Wrestling Championships, and while the wrestling was good, two tweets stood out- this one about the best Italian names in each weight class and this photo of an amazing scene at the end of a semi-final match on the IBEW Local 102 mat. Peak stuff. Also if you ever thought of giving up on something, 33 year old Izzy Balsiger became an All-American 13 years after previously achieving the honor at the NCAA Division III Wrestling tournament.

In more serious matters, the United States suffered casualties in a war that it won a week or two ago in Iran. The U.S. Embassy in Iraq was hit by a drone. The President is pressuring NATO and China to reopen the Straight of Hormuz. Gas prices are up. Israel is talking to Lebanon as it increases it’s ground campaign in Lebanon against Hezbollah. White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles has breast cancer and I wish her a speedy recovery. FCC Chairman Brendan Carr has threatened to revoke licenses for television networks that don’t cover the Iran War the way he likes. Congress doesn’t seem super pleased, but they can’t get themselves out of a paper bag. A federal judge has blocked parts of RFK Jr.’s vaccine guidelines. The USDA is making indentured servitude great again, deciding to increase temporary visas for immigrant migrant farmworkers and lower their pay. There are major primary elections tomorrow in Illinois and apparently Altoona, if you believe that. New York City is lowering speed limits to 15mph in school zones. I’m fine with that.

Last night was the Oscar’s. I watched Conan’s opening monologue and thought it was pretty funny, but Conan O’Brien is funny. “One Battle After Another” won best picture. Jessie Buckley won best actress for her role in “Hamnet.” Michael B. Jordan won best actor for his role in “Sinners,” officially making him the second most famous Michael Jordan. “Sinners” won four Oscars as a movie, while “One Battle After Another” won six. Nicole Kidman showed up Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez on the Red Carpet. And in my favorite win, “Mr. Nobody Against Putin” won best documentary feature, a big fuck you to Vlad. I still couldn’t sit there and watch the whole show though, ADHD gets in the way.

Well it’s just about St. Patrick’s Day. Go drink a green beer or some Guinness, throw on your Birds jersey for the day, and blast the Dropkick Murphy’s. Oh, and eat all of the corned beef and cabbage that I don’t get to first.