I’ve got a friend since high school, he was a Marine and fire fighter. When we were young after a few shots, he would remind us all “he likes ’em crazy.” I mean, look, different strokes for different folks. I read this, and I immediately thought of him-

“A 26-year-old Ocean City woman who claimed she was brutally assaulted because she worked for Rep. Jeff Van Drew (R-Ocean City) instead orchestrated the entire incident — paying a scarification artist to wound her and staging the scene with zip ties and “Trump Whore” written on her stomach and “Van Drew is a racist” on her back, federal prosecutors alleged today.

Natalie Greene, a Rutgers law student, allegedly concocted the hoax in July, with an accomplice making a late-night 911 call to report that she had been ambushed by three men on a nature trail in Egg Harbor Township.  Police officers found Grenee bound with black zip ties, her shirt pulled over her head, and the political slurs scrawled across her torso.  She told police that her supposed attackers had a gun and threatened to shoot her, and struck her in the head.

Prosecutors say nearly every detail was fabricated.

Greene allegedly drove to Pennsylvania and paid a body-modification artist $500 to carve the wounds on her face, neck, and upper body, using a pattern she had provided in advance. Investigators later found matching zip ties in her Maserati SUV.  Cellphone records showed that two days before the purported attack, her co-conspirator searched online for “zip ties near me,” a discovery authorities cited as further proof that the incident was staged.”

Jussie? Are my doing this right? This isn’t just politically crazy, this is cray-cray crazy. The type that will break your windshield to show “they love you.” I’m not about this life.

Seriously though, people keep trying this stuff. What rando that attacks you on a trail knows you work for the Congressman? How do they know to attack you for your politics, are you wearing a shirt with a candidate’s name on it? At least when people put a fake noose on their desk or something, it’s plausible that they targeted you for your race, that’s something visible to the eye. It’s still fake, but it could have happened in some alternative timeline. A random woman on a trail at night doesn’t seem so obviously conservative.

In all seriousness, this girl is seriously ill. She did bodily harm to herself to stage political violence. I hope she gets help, and hopefully then is allowed to return to her education and life. This stuff is not stuff any normal person does, but I guess we can hope she’s young and learns. Right?